Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Disclosure And Explanation

Glen Reynolds linked to a NYTimes story on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome No Longer Seen as ‘Yuppie Flu’. Please take a couple of minutes to read it if you have the time.

As a long term suffer of CFS I wanted to share one of the lesser known effects of the disease and wrote the following to Instapundit:

Professor Reynolds,

Thank you for the link to the NY Times report on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I am
a long term sufferer of the condition. ...

While the article mentioned cognitive issues it was really understated. Yes,
the fatigue is like nothing you have ever experienced (and if you have please
accept my heartfelt sympathy) and it drones on day after day after day after day
after day -- no matter the time of day from early morning to late evening. But
one of the silent devils is the way the illness often steals your ability to

I blog, read you every day and have sent you things in the past. But often the
posts take hours to write. It is amazing how the mind works, here is an
example. Just last week I realized I had completely forgotten the word whose (I
just spelled it wrong there and it still looks wrong) . It kept coming out,
"whoes," and the spell check kept telling me it was wrong. I knew there was a
word whose, there had to be, I remember it from grade school for God's sake.

After looking online the actual word whose just did not look correct, that word
had been removed from my mind completely forgotten. I substituted, "who's," as
the only alternative that looked like an actual word and cleared the spell
check. It was disturbing at the time but later as I was reading one of my older
pieces something clicked and I just knew there was something wrong yet I
couldn't figure out what it was. When I asked a friend it was pointed out to me
and I was shocked that I had used the incorrect term for weeks, repeatedly.

I went about corrected them (got stumped in one where who's was the correct word
for about 20 minutes) as tears flowed as the realization again sunk in that
neither of my two degrees mattered, my awards for public speaking were useless,
and I ran the risk everyday of my blog shattering my pride and making me look

There really are few things in the world as horrifying as the experience, and it
isn't quite like dementia because some days it is okay and I think, gee, this is great.
Then the next day I get stuck in a post having written the same thing three times -- full paragraphs one after the other as if they were new thoughts -- all the while spelling and grammar making rare appearances, if ever.

For now I will continue blogging thinking it will help to keep my mind sharp,
but deep down I know that it may prove to be a futile effort.

Anyway, i just wanted to thank you again for your post and share my experience.

Have a great day,

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